So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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