Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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