What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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