I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
