Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
