Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
