You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
