Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
thus making me awesome and them whores
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
