O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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