I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
