he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
