if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
