CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
