I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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