your thong is hanging out like whoa
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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