Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
