Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
