I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
