would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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