your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
