I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
