Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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