oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
