goodnight i made you a song goodbye
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
