Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
