Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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