She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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