Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
