I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
