I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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