She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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