okay pat passed out under dana's car
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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