oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
