sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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