is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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