I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
