"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
