Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Someone signed my nipple.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
