If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
