69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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