Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
