she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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