I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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