he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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