and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
