I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
