I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
