So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
