He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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