What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
