Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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